GRANDmothers..oh how I miss them - part deux

My Mema was an incredible lady, she was what one would call a Giver...putting others in front of herself, and took care of everyone.

Mema was the quintessential definition of a mid 20th century homemaker and thus the Grandmother everyone wanted.  She cooked (the worlds greatest to me) & cleaned (she ironed sheets) her house was always in order.  She was the first lady of their small town for awhile. She always had her hair done as most southern woman did and she had pointy long nails painted red.

My memories always start off with her saying "give me some sugar", because that is what Grandmothers from Arkansas say when they see their grandkids.   She was always quick with the hugs for my brothers and cousin.  We lived about 5 hours away, and would pack up (literally every nook and cranny) the car and head North to Arkansas for every holiday but Christmas and also during the summers.  I couldn't wait to get to that small town, they lived right off the square, so we were in the thick of it for years and since half the town were relatives, plenty cousins to play with!

Mema really was a great cook, I can picture her in the kitchen making something to bake, or cook or fry up in that blue paisley apron.  She had a built in mixer that popped up from a cabinet when needed, that was a cool toy for me.  She always had treats for us in the 3rd drawer that had a roll top. She knew how picky an eater I was and made a corner of her banana pudding without bananas for me, or make her potatoes lumpy just enough to my liking!  Her fried okra was a little piece of heaven.  Now one Thanksgiving, she made me eat sweet potatoes and lets just say they came right back up and ruined a lovely table setting.  I was never asked to try some different foods again.  I also remember sitting with her for hours shelling purple hull peas she had just gotten from the peddler on the square and having purple fingers!  According to my Mom, she and her sister never learned to cook from her as she didn't like anyone in HER kitchen, but it was different for me, she patiently taught and showed me how to cook.  

Getting back to Mema being a giver, she was the oldest of 10, and when her Mother (Big Mama to us) late in her life decided one day she wasn't going to anything else and have her daughters take care of her, Mema did.  I don't recall her actually being sick, I guess she was just tired!  Mema and most of her sisters took 24 hours shifts taking care of her/her house as well as also keeping their own homes in order. 

She also took care of my PaPa, she had dinner (which was at lunch to us) on the table and he would come home everyday to eat. She cooked him eggs, bacon, toast and her special oatmeal (which was really just not lumpy oatmeal) for breakfast and then made dinner and supper every day, as they rarely went out to dinner.   Later in life, his health deteriorated and she still took care of him, until she couldn't do it all by herself.  Then they got nurses to help but she was still taking care of him  I remember one time I was there in my 20's, when he didn't want to take his medicine for the nurses...she marched in there and said "Johnny you are going to take your medicine right now!" You can guess the outcome.  Kinda cute in my book.

Also we had dogs, so they always came with us when we visited, now she said  she didn't like dogs.  What she did not know is we used to catch her when she thought no one was looking petting and whispering to the dog...That would be something she would never admit too!

After my PaPa died, she didn't have anyone to take care of and I really think that was her life's work. It was time for those of us who loved her to take care of her.  This role reversal was not something she liked nor was comfortable with.  I remember about a year before she passed, I made a surprise visit to see her on my way back from a trip, she was sitting in her chair alone with the lights off.  After she recovered from the shock of seeing us, I asked her where her nurse was and she had sent them home and that she didn't need one.  She really did though.  Shortly after that visit she had to move into a live in facility as she needed full time care and could not get around (she had terrible feet...those I inherited).  Her eyes would light up when I would go to see her and I did as much as possible. She left us shortly after that.  She is in Heaven making banana-less banana pudding and I bet still petting the dogs when no one is looking.

My Aunt told me recently that I had a special relationship with her and Papa and that just made me smile and miss them a bit more.  You see it is an honor for me to be their grand daughter. 

I have in my own kitchen, a collage of some of her handwritten recipes to help me remember who taught me how to cook.